i think my new blog is so cute hahahahahahahahahha.

ask me if you wanna know. i'll decide if i like you enough. AND I LOVE PHOTOBUCKET.

i know i said i'll move after the a's. but hmm, nothing.

MOVED. byebye blogger.

p/s: i may come back if i still suck at html though. hahaha

if i were to marry my present boyfriend, my fate for the rest of my life is sealed. haha. cos he finished his Alevel exams already. !@#$%^&

i still got another 5days. i really hope i can concentrate haiz.

and once again, econs was like crap. i guess i really have to live with my first F for econs. =(

econsp3 was like hell. i am so dead. and my mcq is going to be more shit tml.

AARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!

sorry boyfriend, think i gave you a shock when i broke down just now. =(

other than that, I WANNA WATCH STEP UP. MONDAY HURRY UP COME PLSPLSPLS. I WANNA WEAR NICE CLOTHES AND GO SHOPPING WITH THE BOYFRIEND, SHOP LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING AND BE LIKE FOOLS WHO DON'T NEED TO STUDY ANYMORE. YAYY-NESS.

i'm going to work (next yr, haha), save money and buy the shocking pink ipod nano. yeap. the ipod's such an over-done thing but it's pink! yayy. haha

bought cleo. so many things i wanna buy. i think i should quit sgsale and sgselltrade. they're making me broke. no worries about sprees because i don't join them. sigh.

econs tml. haha, hello my F! omg F for the first time.

my blogger is going to move house soon. after my exams. in a little bit more than 6days. 156hours. can i complete it? yes i can complete it. can i make it to university? no i don't think i can.

oh, and i'm going to work out till i'm a size8. i hope.

oh yeah and you know what.

no more allowance after my a's end. which will be in 10days' time.

OHMYGARRD i'm not like my sister who can teach tuition the whole day to a bunch of ignorant and disgusting pampered and spoilt children. i know it pays well ( i saw her passbook once and saw 5digit balance inside omg) but i get high blood pressure just from teaching piggy at home. if i teach tuition i would be like courting death because i'm going to get a stroke! or i'll end up doing their homework for them! i can't teach for nuts, i can't even do piggy's math sometimes. maybe i'll teach chinese, but who the hell wants to learn chinese these days?!?!

andandand, i wanna take my driving license. no money i take with what? do i have to survive on 1dollar chicken rice everyday before i can take my test? and what if i fail like ten times? sigh this is bad. i need a sugar daddy.

i know i'm sounding like a perfect bimbo, but HELP!!!

i really don't know what to say about the history paper. hmm, i felt quite satisfied about the paper at first, maybe because the questions that i spotted for came out. though there were times when i couldn't remember case studies and stuff, but overall it was ok. despite the fact that i've stopped studying history for more than 2weeks since school ended (yes, i dropped everything for math so early) in preparation for math and started studying history again only last night, it wasn't hard, neither was it easy. ok la i don't know how to explain. i just hope that i'm correct. *crosses fingers*

i've been on a break since i came home from history paper, as if the exams are like totally over. that's bad. econs next week. i guess i'll start tomorrow. HEEHEEHEE.

math overall was pretty ok, but i hope they moderate anyways. not good, not bad. it's this kind of feeling i get that i'm scared i'd do badly. i feel like every paper is ok and every blardy person in rj, vj and tj will do well. sigh. i'm just scared la, i just want a B. that's not too much to ask for right? besides, from those that i know how to do, i'm more or less a Cgrade already. that's like a big improvement from the usual Fs that i get. if they moderate, maybe i'll get a B.

4more papers, 3more exam dates. 229more hours till the end of A's. just 229hours more.

back to my online comic deathnote. this is really bad.

my tagboard seems damn hot these days. whoo.

i only managed 55marks for math paper1, which is fucking bad cos i have to get a 105 for paper2 if i wanna secure an A. which is IMPOSSIBLE cos there are only 100marks for each paper. i hope everybody does badly so they will moderate. but i think all the math students from the top5 schools will scoop up all the As. :( history is on friday and it has been 2weeks since i last touched it. just great. i think i shall work my butt off and go take my A's in june next yr again. *sad*

the dress i ordered is still not here. dammit. i don't want it anymore, give me my money back!!

12more days. seems so near yet so far.

today, the boyfriend and i gave an ah-ma $10 for 6-7packets of tissue. it's quite sad really, seeing the ah-ma like that. well, i'm glad that there are still nice people in the world. a mother even bought a meal for the ah-ma. the other day, i donated $2 to a boy who was going door to door asking for donations to the red cross society. the boyfriend chided me for doing so, but as mother theresa once said, 'i'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt, than not help someone who may really be in need.' i think it's so true, really.

i just remembered something totally ridiculous that the boyfriend told me about some time ago, and i can't believe somebody like that exists. really, i hope their relationship doesn't work out. even if they do get married, i hope the guy hooks up with some other hot girl. how does a relationship work when one hasn't the guts to initiate a break-up, and one doesn't want a break-up simply because he/she doesn't want to be single? to me, i think it must be the sex. much as i don't want to, i can't help but think so. there may be love, but there's more lust than love. how stupid- not forgetting selfish- can these people get?

dinner time! the nerd is hungry.

math paper1 in a little bit more than 3hours. i'm scared.. :(

history paper1 on friday, and i haven't revised much.

econs next week, and i haven't touched at all.

haiz.

but on the bright side, 13days left!!

i started my day in a happy mood. didn't get that upset though i got 58/100 for catholic jc math prelim 2005, but i cannot stand you going one big round the bush to bitch about me. not exactly bitch, more like proclaiming to the whole congregation. really, talking so much shit about going to church, how every other student doing their GCEs are still going to church, i'm the only one not there, using exams as an excuse to not go to church blahh blahh blahhhhhh. it sucks when you as a youth pastor- who had to repeat your J2 because your results sucked- say such things in front of my mother when your whole family doesn't attend our church. so what if they attend another church? the family is supposed to follow the pastor to whichever church he's assigned at, asshole. not going to church doesn't mean i don't rely on him. not going to church doesn't mean i'm giving up on him. and then trying to insult my mother by saying that as a christian she allows me to not go to church by exclaiming 'oh, exams now. never mind la, these few weeks don't go.' i'm sorry to say, i bicker with my mum every sunday morning because i want to study instead of going to church and not paying attention to a single word of the sermon. i quarrel with her because she, as a christian, DOES NOT approve of what i'm doing. get your facts right before saying such things to my mother, you fucktard. do you think God is happy with me going to church and using my phone and sms and sometimes fall asleep and study in the sanctuary in the middle of sermon? i want to go to church without feeling distracted. you may talk so much cock about how important studies are, but saying such things makes me feel damn irritated. life's about making choices. and i choose to study for 3hours more every sunday instead of spending 3hours in church every sunday afternoon feeling distracted and worried about my exams. it's not like i haven't tried. i prayed, asking God to let me stay focused in church. i told him i'm sorry if i can't focus on the sermon. not once, not twice. and it's not like i don't pray to God now. in fact, i pray even more asking for strength. do you even know how guilty i feel when my family leaves for church but i'm still at home studying my ass off in my pjs?

i officially dislike you to the core. i think hate is too strong a word to use though. still, you're an asshole, making my angry.

and WHO THE FUCK gives you the right to talk about my mother like that?

i can't wait for exams to be over so i can start my days of thinking what to do cos i'll be so bored.

the sound of mahjong somewhere in some neighbour's flat is making me go crazy. every saturday night there will be mahjong.

I WANT!!

sister is in london. woohoo, she gets to go to so many places though she's supposed to be in warsaw studying for her tons of majors.she may be getting birks again, and i asked her to buy for me! HAHAHAHA then i'll get her 4boxes of panties (it's buy one get one free, btw. which means i'll be paying for only 2boxes) for her birthday and christmas present! LOL. her birthday is like 3days away. she's like enjoying life there (meaning, getting fat), while her boyfriend is slogging like a log (means getting skinny). omg la see pic attached! he so didn't look like that before the trip cannnn. he's the guy with the black skirt, in the middle. and my sister is the grey one, second from the left. why they're not sitting together, i don't know. but they're enjoying life and drinking beer! life's not fair.

and no! the polka dot dress isn't the last buy. HEEHEEHEE!

i am a happy happy girl! WOOHOO!


HAPPY EIGHTEENTH MONTH BOBBY. I LOVE YOU!


hee!

HOHOHO. my computer is arriving tomorrow. finally, after like 2yrs. :) i am a very happy girl today. went home sick last night, slight fever. told mummy and she made lemon tea for me, brought me dinner and stuff. and she didn't scold me even when i said i didn't feel like washing my plates and stuff. HEEHEEHEE. so i slept at like 9.30 for 10hours till this morning. ran 1.6km and some other stuff. not really proud of myself but nvm la, first time in god knows how long.

math2005mock paper very difficult leh. :(

i want a black handbag for shopping.
i want a huge tote for bangkok shopping.
i want black dresses.
i want red shoes.
i want red belts.
i want to lose weight (starting tomorrow, i hope).

i love my polka dot dress.
i feel like a sex goddess, a girl from FHM (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, a fat one at that) in the dress.

i hate it when my whole body aches like now, though i have no fever/headache/tummyache.
i don't know what's wrong with me.
i want to get well.
i want to be able to sleep properly at night for at least 5hours straight.

i know my exams have started.
i hate my gp paper. yet again, no family/youth. FCUK.
i just have to wait 18more days.
i want at least a BBB, though that's not exactly my goal.

i really don't feel like working after the a's.

exams start tml and i don't really feel anything. maybe becos i know i'm doomed, but i'm still hoping for the best. i mean, there are a lot of people around who have high hopes for me and want me to really do well. pus there are also a lot of assholes who pretend to care for me an shit, sometimes i hope they'd like drop dead or something. many a times, i feel like i'm living my life for those around me. like going to a JC. i've never been the studying sort, and even up till the last minute before i received my results, going to JC was only a dream that could never be achieved. i always thought i was the typical poly girl, wasting my life away. doing nothing productive. 3yrs later, i still feel i've lived my life for nothing. there's really not a thing that i really really enjoy doing, not even mahjong or volleyball sometimes. i'm sort of like being led by the nose and doing what others tell me to do. i mean, right now, i really want to get some decent results to get into university. which again, will be determined by my parents and sister. they're all hoping i would enrol into SMU, do econs, and probably end up doing 3majors like my sister. all my life, i've been overshadowed by her in every way. studies. life. finance. music. i seem to have to be at least as good, or even better, than her. i never seem to be able to make my own decisions for myself. like everything i do is wrong.