i am currently reading the book called 'husbands (is one ever enough?)' by adele parks and i'm simply loving it. i don't know why but i simply love these kind of books. so bimbotic, but i like. haven't picked up a book in a really long time (other than the purpose driven life), and i feel liberated. haha, liberated cos.. actually i also don't know why. actually i think i should get a book and write down all the book titles that i've read so that i won't borrow it again. my memory is so bad sometimes i feel i'm 70yrs old.

anw, i feel i've got so much to update but i don't know where to start. well, for one. the order for the birkis are confirmed already (like, FINALLY), and i can get the pair i wanted since dec last yr. i actually saw some girl wearing it the other day when i went to town with my beloved boyfriend, and i'm usually the kind of person who will dismiss the thought of getting something if i see someone wearing it. but i want that pair so much i didn't care, i didn't change my order. it's so unlike me, but oh well, i'm happy that it's coming.

and umm, i bought the running shoes already! i love sportslink, the stuff there are always so cheap. their stuff can be quite out-dated for awhile, but since out-dated stuff can be quite cheap then i don't really care la. plus since mummy's sponsoring, then i don't think it's a very nice idea to sponge off my mum, if you get what i mean. it means that i don't think it's right to get my mummy to buy me expensive stuff just for my own pleasure, since my mummy is actually quite poor. well, she has to pay for all the expenses that goes around in the house (notice the word 'the', not 'my') - electrical, rent, school fees, giro, market-ing - and even though it sounds like a very nice idea to find a day to go shopping with mummy to get her to buy me stuff (because of the progress package), i'd prefer to get her to buy things i need, not things that i want. well, i can buy for myself the things that i want, or my boyfriend will buy them for me. hahaha but then i'm trying to go back to 1yr ago when i didn't like it when he paid for my stuff. he has successfully brainwashed me to think like a materialistic bitch - that he'll pay for my whatever stuff i want - that him paying for my stuff is ok, and i don't think it's very nice now. so i'm trying to buy lesser things, or buy cheaper things, or actually just totally not tell him that i want things, so that he won't insist on paying for me. actually he's going to read my blog right after i finish blogging, so i don't really see a big deal in hiding this from him. hahahaha but well, he didn't let me buy the pair of ballet shoes that costs $19.90(!!) even though i was paying for it myself. i got a bit disappointed at first cos i've been wanting them ever since the beginning of time but oh well. i'm over it already. i accept the fact that i got to save for better stuff, like birkis. :) anw i so hope the a's quickly come so that i can get it over and done with and i can start working and playing and working and playing and hopefully not get anymore allowance from mummy. i hope i can be as hardworking as 'the' sister who got a job as a tuition teacher and whatever-else-she-did-i-don't-know and get loads of money. i kind of envy her because of the fact that she, now not even 21, has been living on her own expenses and paying for her own stuff and all that ever since she graduated from JC. which means, she stopped taking allowance from mummy at age 18. commendable. in fact, she now gives mummy allowance. i don't know why i'm praising her. well actually i'm not praising her, i just like the way she does things sometimes, like not taking allowance from mummy to add to her burden. she's going away to some weird place like greece or poland or is-it-turkey(?) for about half a year and i'm so happy. not happy for her cos i actually bloody hate her, but happy because i don't need to see her for half a year! isn't that fascinating?!? *sings hallelujah*

haiz. i would really love to go on the bangkok trip with my boyfriend and his relatives (although the part about going on a trip with my boyfriend is the reason why i really feel like going, not forgetting the shopping!!), but i really doubt if i can go because the trip is in july. freaking july! which is actually the 3rd week of term3. much as i would love to go, i can't. i don't think i will ever have enough courage to ask mummy if i can go to bangkok for a holiday before the a's start. not forgetting the amount of revision in school that i'll have to miss. haiz. taking exams suck. i hate qin shihuang. asshole.

ahhh, back to my book.

YOU make my life misearble. Why can't YOU just drop dead? Ugh. YOU piss me off. So much.

What happens if you'd rather to spend more time with your boyfriend's family than with your own?

Mummy will be coming back tml. Don't know what time she'll be back but I guess it would be in the night. It's her birthday tml and I already bought her Brands' Chicken Essence with cordeyceps. :) I wanted to buy Birds' Nest for her but since getting her a present was an impromptu thing I didn't have much funds. hehhs. You can say that that is the first present I ever bought her in years. I think the last thing I actually bought her was a cake when I was in Sec4. And it was a slice of cake. Haha so sorry la I only had $20 as allowance then and it really was not enough. Plus my family has never had the habit of giving presents and buying cards to each other la. We only have meals together because my family loves to eat. Everyone in my family, including my uncles and all that, simple love to eat. So everytime there's a big event we just cook up a delicious meal and eat to our hearts' content. But then my family hasn't had much people over to eat these years. Now it's just my own family eating together. Which is quite nice because I simply hate entertaining. :)

Holidays have started but there are still lessons next week, not to mention the many many consultations and make-ups. Haiz I just hope the A's come soon and take away all my stress. You know, I've been so tired these couple of weeks, I feel like sleeping after 9pm everyday. I don't know why, even though I don't really do much through the day except for normal lessons. It's not like I use a lot of my brain cells during class. Plus trainings are now over. Feel so lethargic. And I realised that I'm too tired to even shift my body when I sleep. Meaning, when I fall asleep in a certain position at night, I wake up in exactly the same position in the morning. And my dreams are always of someone chasing after me and they always cause me to wake up in the middle of the night. I think something's wrong with me. :(

Aside from that, I feel kinda proud of myself today cos' I actually woke myself up early this morning and went to run my 2.4km. I have never run my 2.4km unless it is for PE, and running like 4 and a half rounds non-stop is a very good record for me already la. Cramps got in the way and so I had to stop for awhile. Will be getting new running shoes (mummy sponsoring!!!) soon and will continue my exercise regime. Haha.

Watched X3 yesterday and it's a pretty good show. Exciting from beginning till end. Too bad I couldn't remember what the first 2 episodes were about. Sometimes I really think it's a waste of money for me to watch movies cos' I cant remember what the movie is about after like 2weeks. But I enjoy the company :) Bought a bag from Alternatives at The Heerens and I like the silky material. Bought an Adidas spray for Bee too. And we ended the day with a manicure. Hahahahahaha.

I love my manicured nails and my pedicured toes. :)

i just realised that i made a mistake in my last entry. it was supposed to be VJC but i ended up typing JJC instead. ya so. ok mistake no more! tml against VJC. i hope we win, so we get a school holiday. even if we don't, i hope we get a holiday from the polling day thingy.

i just finished my estimation tutorial and i'm super proud of myself. but i'm still stuck at the sampling assignment. got to hand up tomorrow. haiz. anw, math and history syllabus ended today. econs left a bit more. i hope she does it quick, cos she really is wasting my time. she wastes so much time in lecture and complain that the students talk too much when i can't even hear a single thing. maybe she's the one making all the noise.

i totally dislike the lecturer today. it's not just her voice. it's how she treats her students. omg la, damn flirt can. and the wallpaper for her laptop is not cute, it's cruel. i think i should refer her to SPCA and hang her on a pole through her shirt. wait, i think the shirt will tear. or maybe the pole will brrr-eak. not to mention the fact that she really likes to show off her students a lot. i don't see V doing that. but maybe that's because she's afraid we'll diagrace her. yes, that's how bad we are.

Come to think of it, i realise that 95% of the (insert subject here) teachers in our school are just plain weird. hmm, and i wonder why.

bought X-men tickets for friday already. happy happy :) it shall be another fun day for you-and-me :) june holidays are just around the corner and i am almost giving up on studying for the mids cos i have a ton to study. but if i start early then i guess i should be able to at least go through everything once, but maybe not thoroughly. oh wells. that's what i get from lazing around toooooo much.

grace is going to beijing tml with her school. mummy will be going to malaysia with my relatives from friday till sunday. so that would leave only me and daddy. i hope i can get some studying done on saturday. people, if you read this, pls pray for me okays. pray that i wont get distracted from studying and that the motivation will not disappear. thanks :) speaking about grace, there's something i got to tell all of you. haha actually i don't mean to be mean, but i think she's damn funny. during her run for her napfa, she got second for the first 2rounds, then by the time she finished, she was second last. so funny la she. i know she's my sister but i guess her stamina's just like mine- it diminishes along the way. but she's still talented in other ways, so i guess it's ok la.

there's something else that i wanted to say but since i can't remember, then i'll just wait till next time. :)

i totally wasted today away. haiz. i should go shoot myself.

other than that, nothing much has been going on. except for maybe the soccer guys are into the finals alr and they're poaying against vjc next thursday. apparently the whole school's gonna be transported down to jalan besar stadium. 2000+people. then jjc supporters sit where? i don't think there are actually enough seats to even sit us la. and just imagine the cost. if one bus of 40seats costs around like 100bucks, wouldn't 50buses come up to like 5000dollars!?! oh so that's where our donation money has been going. yeahs, how nice.

blame my fickle-mindedness. i just love to change my blogskins. saved a lot in my folder already. Hees.

bought a bra and one-piece swimsuit last night at century square. offer offer. but the bra's too tight. gotta go change it. hehs. watched davinci. pretty exciting. of course it's not as nice as the book due to all the cuts cuts cuts. and i really have to say that the Silas kinda freaked me out. so much for torturing oneself. the sounds of the disgusting tool he used was enough to make me throw up. actually I'm quite proud of myself. went shopping early afternoon yesterday but managed to control myself to not buy anything even though i had like 90bucks in my purse. but the bra was too much an offer to resist, plus it's only 6.90. i love pink bras. :) maybe i'll buy another one when i go down to change tml.

GSS is coming but just like any other year, i don't think i'll be doing much shopping this year. i should be studying for the mids instead. i should be trying to do a lot more running. haha. i'll save the money for other plans. :)

hellos. :)
before I say anything else, can I just say for the last time that I really haven't been studying much. Was absent from school the past 2days and I was a total blur in school today. Didn't know what the heck ang-ster was talking about in math lect, and was half dead in hist tutorial, let alone mention the ever heart- and life- threatening tutorials with Violet. So many undone tutorials and I think I should just drop out of school and start looking for a job to supply myself with endless cash. :) argh fat hope. Somebody kick me in the ass and get me to study pls. At the rate I'm going I'm totally going to end up 3yrs in a JC and another 3yrs in a poly. And then by the time I actually graduate from university I would be a stinking 26yr old. Trainings are over and I should have more time to study right? Yup I know, but the heart's not there. Haiz, I need MOTIVATION - BIG TIME. Tutorials on RR was a blur because I hardly attended any of them because of competitions and all that, and now they're all done with RR. I'm left knowing nuts about it cannnnn. Sucks big time.

Ahh heck, let's forget about that for the time being. I know the time's not appropriate but I've been thinking of all the places I wanna go after the big A's. Like a couple small holidays with close friends and all that. Okay make it about 2dozens small holidays. Wahahahaha. I'm even hoping for a one-night thingy during the June holidays even though I know the probability of it actually happening is like maybe 0.0000000001. I should probably just stop dreaming about all that and get my brain stuffed with math, hist and the heavenly econs.

You know, sometimes I really think how having my own digicam is such a good idea. *sighs Anyone having a good heart?

Been really tired these days even though I haven't been doing much. Haven't been doing work either. Haiz. I don't know what to do with me except remind myself to study, which I obviously can't. :( Oh wells, Napfa yesterday. Glad that I passed it. And you know what? I no longer have to run 2.4km or do Napfa ever again!!!!! YEAHS!!!! Got damn scared for my pull-ups and standing broad jump can. Thought I would fail like siao. But luckily God sent some angel to put energy inside my body and I passed everything. Yeap. 14:32 for 2.4km, which is damn slow already cos I did 13:53 the last time we ran, 10'7 for shuttle-run, 179 for SBJ, 54 fot Sit-and-reach, 16pull-ups, and 40for sit-ups (didn't want to continue doing cos no point even though had like 10secs left). :) OK, enough of hao-lian-ing. lalalalalalalalala.

Can't wait for Friday to come. It's a holiday and even though I know I should be studying, I'm planning to go out shop instead. But at least I'm glad that I can do Normal Distribution. Wahaha. And Econs stuff now seem rather easy-to-grasp. *starts to pray

Totally screwed up my History test this morning. Haiz. Spent the last weekend studying for IR but interpretated the question wrongly and totally wrote one whole essay of nonsense. Oh well, changed at the last minute and I hope it could help salvage the situation. The nationalism question was quite ok la, cos I read the exact essay question this morning before the test. But of course I forgot some stuff but I don't think I would fail that question. It's quite ironic since I didn't touch nationalism at all until this morning and coincidentally the only question that I went through was the question that came out. All I can say is, I have foresight. yeahright.

ANYWAYS, I just want to say that I LOVE MY BABY!!! HAPPY 1 YEAR! :)

Haven't blogged in a reeeeeeaaallly long time and since I don't really feel like doing anything else now, I shall blog! Many many things has happened and I really don't know where to start. Well, for one thing, we're out of competitions already. Many issues regarding that and it has become quite disturbing actually. I guess there are just somethings that some people have to take a step back and understand and see the whole picture.

We had a team talk right after our last match (albeit a very late talk), and some of us said out how they felt towards certain issues. And I feel that although majority were true, maybe there are some things that we have to accept. For one thing, I feel that I've failed as a ViceCaptain. There were many things that I didn't do even though they were of my responsibility.
1. I didn't discipline them enough. My job as a v.captain was to be in charge of discipline, which means I have to scold la. But most of the time I didn't really bother. I may get angry but I would never raise my voice and scold them. I just felt really weird if I tried. But then now I feel that if I had done something like that earlier then things may not have turned out this way. Trainings have stopped for 2weeks before the Sch Team has to train the J1s for 2weeks before we officially step down. I promise myself that I will do my utmost to make sure I do my job well. Even though it's only for 2weeks. For those who owe me the extra 4rounds around the track, I'm going to make sure you do it. The TWO of you.
2. I didn't put in much effort to help in team bonding. I was usually the first one to leave after trainings because my boy would be waiting for me on an empty stomach at every training until I finish. WHICH is very late by the way. And I didn't want to deprive him further of his food that was getting cooler and cooler by the minute. I hardly took part in team dinners after trainings and this has in turn resulted in the forming of many cliques. I feel I should have talked to Qiling earlier about this. I'm very proud to say that at least I wasn't one of those people who had cliques. I was one of those people who were more willing to let people know more about me. I know I wasn't one of those who would keep silent when there are other people around in my non-existent clique. No pointing of fingers, but everyone has had a part to play.

To a certain someone: You may feel that the whole team talk was all about pointing our fingers at you. And you can very well say that you've guessed right. But have you ever stood back and thought for yourself about what you have done for the team? Ok, so maybe not for the team, but for yourself? Before the sch team was chosen, you came faithfully for every training. After the sch team was chosen and you found out that you were not in the main team, you seem to conveniently have tons and tons with meetings and events with your special committee and you can conveniently come late for trainings. I can very safely let you know that you are not fit to be in sch team at all. I'm sorry to say this but you are in the sch team only because you have an advantage. And that is your height. There are others who are more than qualified than you to be in the sch team but are not because of your height. So what if you're not in the main team? Thereare many others way that you can contribue to us! There are another 5 of us who are not in the main team and as reserves, but we still come. Even those who are not in the sch team still come faithfully for every one of our trainings! Who are you to put the blame on others for misunderstanding you now? No offence, but I think you should really think about what you've done first.

That aside, I'm lagging behind sch work. Haven't been able to catch up with work because of trainings and competitions, and since now trainings have somewhat stopped, I hope I'll be able to clear up all the stuff that I don't know. Which is A LOT. But sometimes the feeling of laziness takes control and I simply waste the precious time away. Something like now. After this, I'm going to IVLE and listen to mrCHUA babble away. Test next week and I haven't started. S-H-I-T.

I 'ordered' my birkis and I really wonder when they will arrive.

HAPPY 362DAYS WITH MY BELOVED BOY. Which means, another 3days to go! I'm so happy that I have no training on Friday. :)

OFF to IVLE.