monday morning, running. monday evening, training. tuesday morning, swimming. wednesday evening, running. thursday evening, training. hmm. sounds like good-enough exercise, doesn't it? i hope so. my leggies are screaming out for rest.

anw, i'm tired. feel so much like going to bed now. cut my hair last week. the fringe, and thinned my hair. kimage. got a new stylist to do it. sham. he speaks good mandarin for a malay. got a little freaked when he spoke to me. kinda gay though. LOL. which male hair stylist isn't gay? i would like to see. but then, feel like cutting my hair again. hahaha crazy me.

so. i'm going to spend the whole day today watching vcds and dvds. sounds like fun. hmm. i've got a feeling i'll fall asleep halfway though. heh.

hmm, what's the point in getting promoted when my results are so blahhhh? but then, i'm kinda glad la. at least i'm promoted. =)

bee's at the doctor's. i hope everything turns out okay.

cant decide which one to buy. uh oh.


1. 1000 pieces jigsaw at Tampines Mall.
2. jeans from Topshop.
3. boxers from Topshop.
4. Bikini from newurbanmale.
5. birkis.

got to save, save, save. the bikini's super expensive, but super nice. costs like 150bucks. so in all, i'll need to save about 300. hahahahaha where the hell am i going to get those money?

bought havaianas yesterday. new arrival. white and green trekking. damn cute. i'm wearing it already. :)

I realize, that God has never answered any of my prayers. For as much as I can remember, I'm always praying and hoping, hoping and praying, but things never seem to turn out the way I want it.

God must hate me, cursed me for eternity.

As it turns out, I hate myself too. I have every right to believe my brain is cursed, and now it's going against me.

I have NO wish to go to school and cry again.

HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET PROMOTED THIS WAY?

I put in so much effort for this, continued even though it gave me nightmares, caused me to suffer from insomnia. I was the one who could explain and teach my classmates. I was the one who could remember the formulas and used them. I was the one who practised it from day till night, night till day. But why is it that I did so much worse than those who hardly prepared for it at all? Why is it so fucking unfair?

Somehow, the fear I felt last year is nothing to compared to how fearful I am now. Come to think of it, I wasn't even scared that I would get retained, because I already knew I would be. Last year, I wasn't that sad because I knew I had been playing the year, not taking things seriously. But this year, it's all different. I put in so much but things turn out this way. It's not fair. There's nowhere I can go. There's no more 'still can retain lah'. There's only up and up, or out and out.

How many more times can I disappoint my mum?

Do people really reap what they sow? THEN HOW COME IT DOESN'T HAPPEN FOR ME?

I know I shouldn't keep reminding myself of what has already happened. There's nothing I can do to change anything anyway. I feel I should just keep my mind off the whole exam shit, and get on happily with my life with Hongjing. He has, over the past 2months, sacrificed and done so much for me I don't think anyone will ever will. He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

WHATEVER LA. I want to have lots of money to buy lots of stuff. I want to spend spend spend. But with a $41 in the bank, buy what shit. I've got to save as much as I can.

Xueling says it's painful to recognize that sometimes hard work does not pay off. I think she's right, just that for me, hard work never pays off.

I'm feeling a little bit better already.

Promos are over!! Haha I know I'm kinda lagging but you cant blame me. I've been playing and playing and playing, didn't find the time or the energy to blog. Well, I guess overall the exams were okay. So much better than last year. MathC was definitely easier. At least I could start all my questions, and completed most of them. I almost died-ed with the 3hour paper. The paper started at 8am, and I wanted to sleep by 10. Was rubbing my eyes to keep myself awake to finish up some parts that I didn't know how to do. Realised I had a mistake in another question, and was thinking of changing ti after I finished the question I was doing. Was too late anyway, the bell had gone. May not be able to get a gradeC as Mr Ng wanted, but I think I'll pass MathC this time round. please....

History was difficult. Very demanding. I'll shout Hallelujah if I can actually get a gradeE. Well, it's a subject I cant study early because of my short-term memory, but I hope I will do ok. Somehow I don't dare to look right into Mr Chua's face for fear of him coming up to tell me 'Anna, you didn't study...' That's the last thing I want to hear from him. Well, it's the last thing I want to hear from any teacher.

Econs MCQ was easy. Was bull-shitting for the DRQ though. Didn't practise any DRQ qns at all. Too late la, couldn't be bothered anyway. Well, whatever results I get, as long as I can get promoted I'll be very happy.

Went home after Econs on Tuesday, bathe and went to town with HJ. Man, he looked good. Hahahahaha. Walked the whole of town, and bought stuffs from Kinokuniya. Had dinner at NYDC and headed for the movies at Cathy. Watched The Dukes Of Hazzard and it's really funny. Really enjoyed the day we spent together. Haven't had such a relaxing and enjoyable day since don't know when. Well, I'm happy. :)

Had Inter-House Games. And I'm burnt. Red. Face, hands, legs. I can already feel my face starting to peel. What do you expect? 8am to 7pm in the evening. Was really sunny on Wednesday. Couldn't see the ball at all. Plus I had to referee the matches that I wasn't playing. Was out in the sun the whole day. But then, the 2teams we sent in won the 2nd and 3rd positions, making us overall first for Volleyball, but overall second for the whole Inter-house games. Callisto had a lot of Seconds, with Atlas just a bit in front. Overall Champoin this yr then. Well, I had fun. Got to go up on Monday to get the throphies for my team during morning assembly.

It's so weird to see some people who seem to appear to love someone very much, trying to do her best to get 'the one' she loves over to her side. Even when 'the one' is already attached. But when the other party gives way, and she gets him, she finally realises that she's not happy being together with 'the one'. Sometimes I wonder if all she ever wants is the competition, and to see herself winning it. Sometimes I wonder if she really did love him as much as she claimed she did, because 'the one' gave up someone else for a pathetic her. Now, she gives him up for someone else, and 'the one' is left all alone, feeling the pain that she inflicted upon him. Why bother to pretend to care for him when she obviously already doesn't?

Destiny Child's Brown Eyes

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
You stepped to me and you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about

Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
We had butterflies although we tried to hide
And we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand
The way we talked the way we laughed
It felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see that he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious

I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
Remember the first day we had an argument
We apologized and then we compromised
And we haven't argued since

Remember the first day we stopped playing games
Remember the first day you fell in love with me
It felt so good for you to say those words
Cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each others hand
The way we talked the way we laughed
It felt so good to fall in love
And I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see that he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

I'm so happy so happy that you're in my life
And baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me showed me the true meaning of love
And I know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see that he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul

...........................................................................................

I cant remember the day I saw your face,
I cant remember the day you smiled at me,
I cant remember the first thing you said,
I cant remember the day you called my house.

But I remember the first day you took me out,
We had so much fun there were only sparks,
And we both had a beautiful night.
I remember the first day we kissed,
I remember the first argument we had,
that only happened after 3months,
We apologized and we compromised,
And we really haven't argued since.

The way you stare into my eyes just shows me how much you love me,
Whatever you do you do it all for me,
I never had anyone like you,
I guess that's what makes you the one.

You may have not brown but black eyes,

But I love you all the same baby.. my sugarpie.

I don't know what to expect of yesterday's Econs paper3. It wasn't difficult, neither was it easy. I mean, how difficult can CEP/Market Failure, monopoly and Labour Market get? I just hope I do ok to get like a gradeD overall. Passing in MJ is a big problem, so I don't hope for too much. :)

I started hardcore mugging on History today. And exam is TOMORROW. Great. We'll see how it goes.

Friendster has this new thing on 'Who's viewed you'. I laughed at the first name I saw. Haha I mean, I never expected *her* to view my Friendster profile. It's not like I mind. Who cares really? Just weird that *she* would want to see my profile.

After History tomorrow I'll go home to sleep. Then I'll do Math on like Sunday. :) After Math on Monday then it's time to slack and let Econs paper1 and 2 work on its own on Tuesday. Who cares really. They bore the shit out of me.

Economics
production and cost. checked
market structures. checked
cep. checked
labour market. checked
market failure. checked
I'm left with demand and supply 1-3. I'm happy! :)

History
italian unification. checked
german unification. checked
That's all! I'm screwed! Exam's on friday and I've only settled one out of 4 questions!
*runs around the house screaming* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And for Math, I haven't practised since eeeons ago. But AIYAH, who cares. Math paper's next Monday. I've got the whole weekend. Only applications of both differentiation and integration and trigo general solutions to take care of. I'm happy. :)

His mum's pills work wonders. Poi-Chi Pills. Kills the nauseous feeling in like, 10secs? Cool.

I'm 38hours away to GP! But then, who cares about GP?

I'm 8days away to freedom and play play play!!!

30hours away to anniversary no.5. But too bad can't celebrate till 8days later. Still, can't wait. :)