I need a break. Had a nightmare about History two nights ago and it's not funny. Scared the shit out of me, esp since I haven't studied for it at all. Uh oh. Got to start tml. Haiz. I'm going to shut myself up and retreat back into my own world and force myself to memorise everything. Who cares if I can't understand? History is practically all about memorising and regurgitating, except for the 'understanding the qn' part.

Well, went to school yesterday and did monopoly and oligopoly. Not much progress. Got distracted by this special group of bimbos in triton house t-shirt seating at the next table. Laughing with some old uncle[he's a teacher btw]. And the headache came back to haunt me once again. I seriously think there's something very wrong with my brain. Kept stopping and wanted to do Math so badly. What's wrong with me?!

Studied at BK today. Did Market Failure and Labour Market. I feel kind of satisfied. :) It's just the theory part though. Haven't touched the Econs TYS and essay and drq qns. I'm so dead.

I swear to start on History tml. Someone pls remind me or I'll forget. Got to go for consultation with VS tml morning. Sigh.

'I want all of you to sign up for consultation. I better see all your names on the form.'

Which tutor forces students to sign up for consultation?!

Pure agony.

Piggy is sick. Down with fever. Had to clear up her vomit at 12midnight last night. Eew. And I finally come to know that I have a true blue bimbo living in my house. In fact, I've lived with her for 18yrs already. Ah forget it. I don't wish to remind myself of how stupid she can get sometimes.

Pizza Fiesta! Mummy brought pizza back last night. Yeahs. Can't wait for 11Oct.

Guess I won't be able to go celebrate Carol's birthday this weekend. Haiz.

I love my boy. <3

Hmm. Right. Haven't blogged for weeks. Been busy studying. Haha yeah right. Anyway, been making tons of improvements on my differentiation and integration. I'm happy. I'm happy because I had zero knowledge of them last year. I realise that trapezium rule is freaking easy. It's like right smack in your face.

But, I think I've been doing too much Math. For the past one week of studying, I've been doing Math, Math and Math. The moment Math tutorial finished I went to get all the papers from the other schools. And comparing RJ's or NJ's to ours, I think ours would be something like S-paper standard(I say that because I've already attempted them). Can someone please explain to me why our school system is so retarded? Why do they treat us like we're gifted and have an IQ even higher then Einstein? *grr* I've been doing so much Math esp. during the last weekend so much so that I have nightmares on them. I wake up many times thinking about the Math problems that I just couldn't solve in my nightmare. And the nightmares repeat themselves after I go back to sleep again. In the mornings, I wake up feeling damn stressed and upset and I feel my whole body getting hot and sweaty, even with a 24degree C. aircon. And it's supposed to be freaking cold.

And so for the next week till Friday when I finish my History Papers, Hj barred me from doing any Math at all. I hope it will do me some good. Plus, I haven't revised Econs or memorised anything for History yet. Any information in my brain on Econs and History is all because of tutorials I've had. European Nationalism is taking away 20yrs of my life. Why must she combine the two countries together?!? *grr*

I feel I've been neglecting some very important people in my life. I think I've been very unfair to them since about 3 weeks ago. My family and Hj. I don't get to see much of my dad anymore cos now he works for the whole day. So by the time he reaches home I would have gone to sleep. So I only get to see him for one hr in the morning when he drives me to school. I see my mum only on sundays. Because she works the night shift, I would have gone to sleep by the time she reaches home at 1, 2am in the morning. And by the time I reach home from school, she would have gone to work already. =( I think I've been treating him badly cos I've been quite depressed since 3 weeks ago. Maybe not all the time, but I get depressed easily. Esp. when I can't solve the Math problems. See all the trouble Math is giving me?!? But Math is still my favourite subject. But I'm glad that he understands all that I'm going through, and he doesn't get mad at me. I feel guilty everytime he sees my sad, frustrated, stressed and teary face. Which, is practically everyday cos we study together everyday. Sorry sweetie.. =( 2more weeks of studying, and we'll have 2months of play-time. Come to think of it, the exams will be over in 14days. Which means exams are a week away! I'm happy and scared at the same time. But I'll hand over everything to God. He'll pave the way for me.

Talked to Mr Ng this morning. Told me he wants me and Hj to get him at least a gradeC for Math. We've got the same Math and GP tutors, btw(leading to all the 'Hongjing, can you annalyse this question for me?'). And to achieve that, we would have to get gradeB for the actual paper. Just great huh. I've never gotten past an F for Math exams for the 2yrs I've been here and you want me to give you a B this time? I can give you a gradeA if our exam paper standard is the same as some particular junior college somewhere very near ours with green uniforms. But then, I shouldn't compare with them la. I'm sorry to say this, but it's really^infinity easy.

Been getting headaches. And they're killing me.

Today's the last day of school. Study break till next Wednesday when the actual papers start.

I'll need all the prayers and blessings I can get.

I need some sleep. *dreams about unsolvable Math problems again*

If I Kissed You

If i kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If i kissed you

If i kissed you
What would michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalised in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If i kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But i guess i'll never know if i never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you

If i kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If i kissed you
oh, If i kissed you
yeah, if i kissed you

Angel in Disguise

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and i stumbled out of bed and
dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody loves you'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before i get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Dont need to look at paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But i forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

But out of the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.

This song's by Corrine May. And her songs are not bad. Worth listening to. A special story for each song. :)

I lost 2kg in 3 days.

Went town with mommy yesterday. Bought a green skirt from U2. Wanted to buy a pair of 3quarts from Joop but it costs like 50bucks. Nvm. Save save save!

Went to school everyday to study except for yesterday la. Studied for italian unification and japanese occupation. But I feel I haven't prepared enough. Wonder how Monday's test will be like.

Still got an econs essay to hand in on monday but I'm going to just put that aside la.

Watched The Longest Yard last night. So funny! Everybody go watch. Was laughing from beginning to end.

Do I really have to go for the meeting tomorrow morning? *feels sick*

**Twenty-five days to the big thing.**

Hongjing and I walked into Ang Mo Kio Police Division HQ this afternoon and exchanged our ez-link cards with visitor tags that read 'For Official Business Only' at the Security Post. We were shivering in our cold sweat as we walked up the stairs to the information counter. We waited for the officer to come call us.

Me: 'boy, how?
Hj: 'no choice. all we can do now is wait.'

With the air-con blowing at us, we didn't know what to do. After 7minutes, an officer came us to us and said, 'Follow me.' We did exactly as he said and followed him through a serious of doors that said 'No Entry to Unauthorised Personnel' and wondered to ourselves where we were going to.

We arrvied at an office with 3 police officers inside. They had serious looks on their faces. We were asked to sit and one officer passed a package and a piece of document to us.

'Please check the details and sign.', he said.

..
..
..
..
..

Hj: 'Er, may I ask who found my wallet?'

..
..
..

Hahahahahahahahahahahha. We went to collect the wallet that he lost 2weekends ago. Where the officer said it was found was a bit weird, because he didn't go there on the day. But who cares?!? Whoever found the wallet didn't take his money. :) happy happy.

____________________________________________________________________________________

I bought a new wallet yesterday from Surfer Girl. Hees.
Celebrated our 4th month yesterday.
Went to Sizzler's and ate and ate.
Uh oh.
Never mind. We'll solve the problem after the exams.
:)