Ok, this is the most handsome guy I've seen in my school. My OGL for orientation. He was waving frantically over to me the other day during lunch trying to talk to me. Cos I had my discman on so I din hear when he called. Den when I told Nada was like.. Aiyah don't know how to describe lah. He's so cute! =D 

Listening to: I Need You by Leann Rimes

Hmm, this song is so nice! Ok, reached home about  hours ago. Had lunch quickly and had my dinner. And have been studying Chemical Kinetics till about half an hour ago. Came online for fun. Sighs. Actually I typed alot of things already, but some asshole called so I got disconnected. And now I forgot what I wanted to say. Darn. Anyway, I uploaded a photo of Welson also. But I think he looks kind of gay here. Don't know why also. Haha. Anyway, I was sitting opposite him and was studying. He was having lunch or something like that, so when he called my name I didn't hear. So he waved like a small boy. I like his smile! So appealing. Sighs. Everytime Nada sees him she will smile. Hmm. She's attached. She shouldn't be doing something like this. But whatever, he's a nice person. Real smiley and cheerful. Ok ok, whatever. May not blog for the next few days because I've got this History lecture test coming up on Monday. And I still haven't decided whether I want to go over to Plaza Hotel with Jasmine and my Aunt tomorrow. Because my Aunt booked a hotel room for the 3 of us to catch up on stuffs. Stay overnight till Sunday. Hmm, it's kind of rude if I don't go right? She hardly comes back to visit. Like only once a year, or once in 2 years. I'm just afraid my Dad will make a fuss if I decide not to go. But anyway, that will come later. I got to go off already. Got to study for my Maths and Chem test tomorrow. Take cares people.

Life's Fine Now.
 
I've been getting along pretty fine these few days. Typing this in PCCG class, with Wanky by my side. The rest are either listening to Priya the papaya teaching Chemistry in class or are actually just faking it. Haha. I'm so bored now. Trying to think of what to say. THanks to all those who have been encouraging me. I'm going to make this a short one. Got nothing much to say. Yeah, I hope people feel better. I want Trence, Eng Tian, Serene, Kelly to all feel better. Take care.

Don't try to console me. If I want to talk, I will.

I slept real late last night. I don't even know what time I fell asleep. Went offline at 12.30 feeling so tired but I just couldn't go to sleep. And suddenly I was tearing all over again. I don't understand how some people are Ok with it. I'm not saying they have to cry and all but they seem like it doesn't matter. Well, maybe they can really put things behind them easily. I cried last night when I was online. Saw so many things and I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I think I know why I'm feeling more upset than some others. It's because I went to the Mortuary to see her. I saw her pale face, I saw her pale body. I saw her turning purple as time went by. I saw her Mum, her Dad, her siblings, her relatives. How they were all so traumatized by her death. At that point in time, I couldn't cry. As much as I wanted to cry my heart out, no tears came. I just stared at her face, not knowing what to do. I'm grateful to him for going with me. To her house at first. But saw her Mum, so went to the Mortuary with her. He didn't say anything to me. And I didn't say anything to him. He just put his hand on my shoulder. But I was still expressionless. I was practically stoning into space. I didn't know what to do.

I feel so bad that I didn't go to her cremation. I only sent her off halfway. But at least I managed to see for the last time. Those who went to her cremation at Mandai only saw the coffin. At least I could see her, for the very last time of my life. Her birthday's on Sunday, 1st August. I can't celebrate with her this year, and next year, and the following year, and never again. I have so much memories with her.

Shimin, the 1st song that came to my mind about us is Graduation by Vitamin C. Though it may not be original, but I hope that wherever you are, you will knoe that all of us here miss you and know that you're happy.

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come WhateverWe will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Will Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this townI keep
I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Shimin. I miss you.

  

 

Just Leave Me Alone. Just Let Me Be.

I didn't feel like going to school today too. I just wanted to be alone, all by myself. But I made myself go. I was very lethargic and quiet in school. I just didn't want to talk to anybody. All my classmates said I looked sick. I guess I haven't been having much sleep for the past few days. Been waking up in the middle of the night with tears at my eyes. I need to distract myself from what happened now. She comes to my mind everytime I have nothing to do. I stone, yes. But I'm thinking of her. Her laughter. How she made me laugh in class everytime. How she would ask me to go to the toilet with her after every lesson ended. How we would talk about guys in our school. How much we talked when we met again at Petrina's chalet. The last time I saw her. I regret so much that I didn't fork out time to ask her out again. Not asking her out sooner again. I'm feeling so remorseful, so regretful. Suppressed my feelings for the whole day today. And now I can cry like a baby on my own. With nobody to put a hand on my shoulder, with nobody to give me a piece of tissue, I'm crying yet again.

But I'm happy for her. That she's somewhere in her own haven. I miss her so much.

Me and Ferli in church during Practice. Oops. Haha.  

I'll Miss Her.

I didn't go to school today. Just didn't feel like talking to people and acting like I'm fine. When I woke up this morning at 8.22 I just wanted to go back to sleep and not talk to anybody. So I slept till 11+. I guess I felt better by then. And when I switched on my phone I was bombarded with messages I felt so bloody irritated. I just don't know what to say now. People kept calling to ask about it yesterday. But whatever it is, what was meant to happen has happpened. We should all just pray that she's happy now, wherever she is. Always remembered and loved by all of us.

Overtime, All Things Will Turn Out Fine.. Trust Me. I'm Also Trying To..

Location: School Library. I just had my Maths tutorial, and I'm so glad it's over. I just can't get what that angmoh is saying. Ok, I'm here with Nada. My new found good friend. Haha. Because we've both got the same eye candy in school. He's quite cute, tall, dark. He was my OGL during Orientation. Haha. Whatever. Anyway, I'm in a good mood today. Until now. I got this message from Friendster from this Ronald guy, who just self-introduced himself.  I was like, 'What the hell?' And i just deleted the message(s!). Well, anyway, my Mum just called and told me about some stuffs. I got pretty pissed actually. How can she do that? But then, time will tell I guess. I'm sure. Just do our best and God will do the rest.

I've been studying really hard these few week nights because I promised someone I would do well for this year's Promo Exams. Or, just meet the criteria and get promoted to J2. It seemed like I was in a fantasy, but I don't care anymore. I just want to do well. I got Mr Tan to arrange for me to attend his TLC(Tender Loving Care) remedial. He didn't want to accept me because he already had too many students, but I kind of persuaded him in the end. I don't want just a pass in my General Paper you know? I want at least a B grade. He said he'll make arrangements. YEAH! He's just so nice! And Mr Pang told my tutorial class yesterday that even the teachers take advantage of him in school. So poor thing. You bloody teachers. He's too nice to everybody already. That's the bad thing of being kind. You can eaten up.   

Overtime, All Things Will Turn Out Fine.. Trust Me. I'm Also Trying To..

Ok, in the school library right now. With Shazleen. She made me come with her. Haha. I had Pe this morning, so I just bathed. Smelling so nice now. Lol. Lessons are fine. Finally getting the hang of differentiation. 3 weeks to get this straight? I'm such a bloody lagger. But of course I still have to catch up more on it. Because now they have shit like Maclaurin's Series. Another part of differentiation. Darn. Tests are coming on next Saturday. Both Maths and Chem are on the same day. Right after one another. Sigh. How in the world am I going to get through that? But the thing is, I'll get a reward if I pass one subject. More if I passed 2. And even more if I pass all 3! But I don't know when I'll be having a History test though. And the thing is, IF i actually pass any of the test. Hmm. Well, things are fine for me. Looking forward to Practice on Saturday afternoon. But I'll be late. Because I have school till 3.30pm. And Practice starts at 4. Ok, I want to watch Ella Enchanted. I watched the trailer on the bus the other day on my way home and found it rather interesting.

Ok, my parents came back together last night, and told me and Jasmine that almost everything about my new house is ordered. Like the Master Bed, the lights. And the people are going to fix the room doors on Saturday I think. And my Mum wants help for washing the floor and everything. I'm so sad I can't help because I've got school. I think it will be so fun. I mean, I want to play a part in cleaning the house. Because it's just a big piece of 'land' and it's so easy to just pour water, scrub, and mop. When there are things in the house I get rather lazy. Too many turns here and there. Haha. But the thing about my house is it's very spacious, so there's a lot of space to walk and do housework. Very easy to vacuum floor. And I'm sure it will be the same for my new house. I can't wait to shift house.

Anyway, yesterday was Racial Harmony Day. And I wanted so badly for the chance to wear a traditional costume. We always had it in St. Hilda's. Stupid darn MJC. I felt so deprived yesterday. Haha. So envious of Ferli that she could wear one. I really don't what in the world is wrong with Ms Esther Lai. Why can't we wear? She's just so.. Whatever. I'm left with 15 more minutes before my Chem Lecture starts, so I think I'm going out front to get some book to read. Ok. Take care people!!

This was taken at the Festival of Praise in June2004 I think. And it's Fatty boom boom with me. Again. Haha. =D 

Ok, this was taken on the MRT train a few weeks back when I went to Orchard with my Churchies. The one next to me is horrifying fatty boom boom. I'm the one wearing Specs-Saturated Fatty Pig.  

Overtime, All Things Will Turn Out Fine.. Trust Me. I'm Also Trying To..

Yes Ok. This morning was in the school library trying to print out the Notes of Meeting that I typed last night. And Hotmail's so bloody lagging. Ok, it was raining heavily this morning. It started raining at like 5.30 in the morning. And I woke up just in time to close the bedroom windows. Because I don't switch on the air-con when I sleep. I use the fan. We save more money this way. Yes, money is important now. Ok, so my Dad asked me yesterday if I had alot of stuffs. And I was like, 'Why?' And he asked me to pack my stuff into the carton boxes. As soon as possible. Those that I don't really need like photo albums and stuff. Jasmine already did all those like 2 weeks ago. I don't even know why she's so excited about it. I'm shifting house soon(I hope). Elated and excited and having a feeling that I may miss my present home. My favourite environment on Earth. I don't know if I'll be able to cope well there. WIth all my friends staying around the North-Eastern side of Singapore. Renovations are almost done. Except that my parents haven't prdered the lightings yet. Besides that, all else is done. My Dad assumes the painting is done anyway. I haven't seen the colour of my our bedroom but I heard from my Mum that it's purple? PURPLE? Oh my goodness. And the study room is pink or something like that. I love pink. Can't remember if it's the other way round anyway. Haha. I love my new house. It looks really spacious after the flooring was done, and I love the toilet. Haha. The kitchen is kind of small, but I think I'll get used to it. Anyway, I hate my Mid-Yr results. My CT is going to see my Mum. Yes. I don't really care anyway. I'm going to push myself on weekday nights from now onwards. Weekends are for fun. =D

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.
 
Ok. I'm very happy now. Because Starhub just called to inform me that my HP is ready for collection. OH YES!! I'm so excited now. Maybe I'll collect it tomorrow after school or something like that. I can't wait. Well, actually don't have much to say. Today's Tuesday, so I think I'll catch Smallville if time allows me. I haven't watched it since I started preparing for my Mid-yrs. Just so busy. Even until NOW. Wanky came to school today. I was so glad to be able to see her. Haha. I guess we really clique. She's the only one from the CLA group that I can clique really well with. So, hmm. We just couldn't stop crapping in class just now. With Dida of course. Haha. Yes, I've got quite a lot to do today. Like History and Chem, and to type out the PW notes of meeting. I seriously hate PW. They are so darn boring. Why in the world is PW made a compulsory subject to be admitted into University? It doesn't help me at all. I've been slacking ever since I knew I had to do PW, but now I'm really determined to make the best out of it. Anyway it's only for a few more months. I don't want to get my PW results next year and feel bad that I failed.
 
Anyway guys, how do you feel when people imitate what you say..? Like how you feel and stuff..? I totally hate it and I always see this happening. Coming from some darn girl. It's like she doesn't have a mind of her own. It just totally pisses me off. But then again, it's none of my business anymore. So I'm going to stop getting bothered about it. Maybe somebody should just tell her what's wrong with her. Anyway, I've got alot of things to do now. So I think I ought to go offline. =D

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.
 
Well, been struggling with my Maths for the past one hour now, and I have this really bad headache. I don't know why either. I think it's still because of the movie i watched the other day-SISTERS. It's not like we bought the tickets really late or something, but I guess the rest were just earlier than us. Much much earlier. Too damn early. That's why we ended up sitting on the front row. Hmm, my seat was like 1st row centre section centre seat..? So my neck hurt like hell halfway through the movie. I got kind of freaked out at some parts but I think I kind of enjoyed it. With all my budds how bad can a movie get, right? Well, my day got on rather fine today. Except for when I had my Chem lecture, I felt so tired throughout the whole lecture. But a SMS vibration from my phone woke me up from dreamland. Sighs, I miss my phone. Sent it for repair on Saturday night and it may take around a week for it to come back to me.
 
Anyway, I think that I'm a bit indifferent to some things. I don't know. I just have to go on with my life. I've changed my whole perspective of life all together in just only an hour, and all I want to do now is to concentrate on my studies, to pass my end-of-yr Promos, and get promoted to JC2. All others can wait. I've had a lot of encouragement these few days from a lot of my friends. And I feel so touched that some of them are also moving themselves towards their goals to be with me. To let me know that they will be there to cheer me up with I feel down, and to reward me for me studying by bringing me out for meals. Haha. It's kind of touching, isn't it? All these that your friends are doing for you. It's not like you get to see these all the time, right? But I don't bug them to bring me out, of course. My mum always says that I have to treasure my friends from school, because all of us have grown up together over the years, spent a hell lot of time together with all our ups and downs, and that they are the ones who will stand next to you whenever you need someone. That's why I'm doing all I can to be there for them. And I really really treasure them.
 
Sometimes, I really don't feel like growing up. All the resposibilities and hard work that I have to go through and put in, I really get so tired. Sometimes I just want act like a small little girl, kick and cry on the floor when I don't get something that I want. If only life for me revolved around ABC, 123, colouring, and nursery rhymes like 'London Bridge is falling down..', to just fall asleep on the floor or sofa for I got so tired from running around the house playing catching or hide-and-seek. But I guess it's not going to happen anymore. I guess all of us have to grow up, and I've just taken the 1st step into being a mature and responsible person, so that I won't disappoint all those who have hopes in me, all those that I've promised. That way I will stay.

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.
 
Sigh. Ok I guess I just have to forget about alot of things right now. Feeling so lost. I cant think of anything to say. I just lost someone I really really like. And it feels pretty horrible. But then again, many things happen without us knowing. And the feeling of being insecure bugs you so mush you just want to run away and hide. But then, now that it's kind of over, I do hope things will get better. And also for him. That's all I want to say tonight. I wish him all the best. Good night.

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

Studied for half an hour and i was so bloody tempted to come online. Saw Mr T. just now. Waited for him as his block downstairs. Just to give him a hug on his special day. But it kinda led to something else. Hah. I've decided to try not to use any 'Singlish' in here. Cos.. i dunno. Just couldnt find anything else to do? I guess so. I'm really feeling damn bored now. And not to mention feeling rather sleepy as well. But i've got to fetch Grace from sch at 6.30. Cos Jas sprained her ankle while walking(wondering how she actually walks) so i got to help pick Grace from sch. Darn. Cos i really dont want to go out after bathing. Unless it's for obvious reasons like meeting Mr T. Hah. Ok so i 'Heavy Colour Light Have'(directly translated from the Chinese word 'Zhong Se Qing You' but i dont really care). Cant be bothered. Just hope Jas gets well soon. So that she can pick Grace up from sch. Hah. No i'm not so bad. So that she can walk properly and not get me to do things for her everytime. Especially when what she wants is just a few steps away from her and i'm all the way in the Living Room or even the Study room. That's actually how lazy she is. It pisses me off quite badly somtimes. But then, I'll get used to it. I mean, I'm already quite used to it after living with her for 16yrs 7 months and 7 days rite? Whatever the reason, I hope she gets well soon. Cos i'll be expecting to see Mr Chua come over to my place ever more often to 'look after her'. And i dun really like it when i cant sit as i want to. Cos i get rather 'Chor Lor' at times. Especially when watching tv. Ok so i got to go off already. Bye people. Have all the fun in the world!

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

okok so now.. still early in the day.. having free period haven stepped into the com room for a very very long time already.. sighs.. but anywae glad to have a com for myself.. ok.. Ifah's blogging too.. damn bored now.. had PE 1st period in the morning.. ran 3 rounds arnd the whole of Sports Complex Level 2.. and did the circuit lax.. damn sian.. was raining so couldnt run on the track.. bleahz.. den had maths tutorial.. den recess.. went to bathe lax.. and the water was like freezing cold sia.. i came out in 3min.. bathed as fast as i could.. after i was done i was having goosebumps all over.. haha..

Tata.. today's a very impt day.. my baby's birthday!! saw him yesterday.. tml he has an exam so i cant see him today.. sigh.. but still.. there's smth i wanna do thou.. haha.. if i can see him later lah that is.. yeaH.. sian. the guy next to me is like blasting his speaker.. playing some kind of rap.. but anywae.. sch's fine. except for maybe the product rule and all in differentiation.. i din do A maths in sec sch so yah.. sigh. i think i better find smth else to do. hmm.. so ok.. take care ppl!! have fun whenever you can cos time may be running out!!

P/S: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! STAY HAPPY ALWAYS!! MUAH!

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

yeah okie.. reached home pretty early today.. skipped prac cos i was feeling rather unwell in sch.. so went home lor.. well.. pretty ok day.. had lunch with him.. heez.. wadeva lax hor.. glad i reach home early today.. or i wont have any chances to see my mum.. cos she works and nite and by the time i finish classes and come baq home it's usually 6, 7 plus already.. so i can only tok to her during the weekends.. which is kinda sad lax if you think of it.. ok got to search for info on GP and for my PW later.. and for some presentation that my GP tutor asked me and Wanky to present in class.. on some advertising crap lax.. so i guess i betta go.. tataz..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

Lalala.. ok so now my sister's playing the piano.. her Grade8 piano piece.. i'm like so sick of it already.. cant belive i have to listen to it for the next few months.. sian.. anywae i got baq all my results already.. yeah and i passed history.. and nth else? it was ok lax.. at least i passed smth.. this is the 1st time i've eve done so badly lax kz.. but well.. my mum understands that my principal has really high expectations.. big thanks to TohZhenLong for that.. he explained to my mum that my princiapl sucks.. haha.. anywae he's the VP in CCHSM or smth lax.. or else i'm really in crap shit. anywae in quite a pretty good mood today.. classes went well and everyday.. glad no big problems with anybody.. was helping my dad with some stuff online just now.. now that he's done so i come online lor.. yeappie.. ok so Jincai is here also.. using up my shampoo.. haha.. no lax just kidding.. he's prac like a son of the family lidat.. he comes over to my place whenever he books out from Changi.. and he bring food with him.. haha.. but i dun eat lax.. the aroma makes me full.. blah and everything..

you know.. there are times when things dun go well for you.. and it makes you feel really down.. like in blogs or frenster or wadeva.. but sometimes we just have to take things in our stride.. just put in effort to not let the same thing happen again.. i haven dealt with the blogskin i dl long ago.. hmm not exactly having alot of time.. gor pretty much things in hand now.. anywae just had my chinese oral today.. yah hope i really get this over and done with so that i wont have to take up chinese next yr again.. great.. but well.. think everybody screwed it up.. metrosexuals? wad do you expect to say? i was like.. 'Oh shit..' well.. hope i can get at least a Merit for it.. arghs wadeva lax.. gtg now.. got impt stuff to attend to.. take cares pple..

P/S: There's CO prac tml.. God bless Me..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

i was in quite a good mood today.. despite the fact that i din feel gd the nite b4.. well.. like until an hour ago.. i'm like some maid but anywae.. my eye hurts.. all thanks to that pig jasmine chew.. argh.. hungry and tired.. just woke up not long ago.. sigh.. i really have to push myself hard man.. this is like so bloody diff from O's.. anyone who wants to get into MJ sould be prepared to suffer hell.. as in like.. REALLY HELL.. I wan a TRANSFER!! i'm like oh so damn tired these few days.. i prac dose off in maths and chem lectures.. and now frenster's so freaking laggy.. PE this morning.. glad that the sky was dark and not sunny or else i'll really faint.. yeah had to run 3 rounds arnd the track after so many weeks or just slacking and eating.. but ran in the rain today and even did the circuit.. i only went swimming once.. sigh.. but anywae.. yeah so glad can have PE already.. one of my fav subjects in sch.. next to History.. but i dun exactly History tutorials just as much.. haha.. ok yeah got baq my maths and chem results already.. let's just say it was bad.. like only 10% passed chem in the whole cohort? so pathetic man.. but den cant exactly blame us.. look at the qn paper and you'll faint from fear.. i've got like so many ko songs and so many blanks.. they're such killer papers man.. think next yr's intake's cut off point will even by lower than 13.. like maybe 12 or 11.. cos this yr's was 13.. for like both Sci and Arts course.. so sick man.. shld have gone to TPJC instead.. but den.. sigh.. hmm.. ok lax.. enough of crapping and toking to nobody already.. taz..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE SO DAMN BLOODY SICKENING!! i can no longer keep my cool over you. is this the way to go when your bf dumps you and finds you too old and you come baq to mine? i really dun wanna say all this shit man. but if you ever get to read this, Woman you are no.1 on my list of Bitches man. DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A BLOODY CONSCIENCE? you go to some stupid independent church and all they teach you is to try to steal someone else's guy? you make me so pissed off. you can hate me for all i care, cos i dun exactly care anymore. i've given you so many chances to stay away from me and my guy and you come crawling baq to him when you get dumped and reeling from pain? what the hell do you take him for? all becos of you i get so pissed off. all becos of you we're fighting. all becos of you we both get so bloody fed up almost everyday. is this just what you want? so that we will break up and you'll get another chance at him? FAT CHANCE WOMAN. just fuck off.

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

i realised that i'm quite sick of my blogskin already.. only after like 3 to 4 days? shld change it.. but wont be spending too much time on it lax.. co have to study.. like i said.. tonite will be the last time i spend my time slacking and all.. really focus on my studies now.. hmm.. i'm pissed off now. feeling myself getting filled up with strong vinegar. all over me. blood rushing up to my head. vision getting blur with salty water. face turning red. i wont blog anymore lest i break down. i was going to say good nite to all, but not anymore.

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

ok.. one word: TIRED.. just came baq from orchard not too long ago.. walk all the way din have much chances to sit and all.. yeah den walked down to Heerens and Cine.. so tired.. but eat alot and walk alot.. so digest already.. haha.. anywae.. shopped for so long hoping to get a present.. but only got a very short one.. went into Bits and Pieces also.. saw smth real nice.. simple and sweet.. and kinda affordable for two.. so yeaH.. i'll get it someday.. i've decided.. from tml onwards i'm really going to study.. wont get online much.. wont go out as often.. i really have to be promoted to J2 or else i'll just drop dead and die.. haha.. yah so.. go out only for impt missions.. haha.. ok so.. gtg.. tata..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

hmm yeaH ok.. at home.. woke up bout 50min ago.. all tanks to my big sis.. woke me up fom DreamLand.. sighs.. was really tired yesterday.. wrnt down to town with ferli they all.. had dinner at the Centrepoint carpark there lor.. and saw this church fren of mine i haven seen in a really long time.. left church many many yrs ago.. hmms.. den just hung out together lax.. it was kinda awkward for me at first.. cos it has been like so many yrs and i'm not the kind to warm up to pple easily.. unless i really know you very well lax.. we din exactly tok much but yeaH so.. well.. great to meet up again..

i got to do housework again.. so sian now.. but nobody's home so i use net first.. haha.. yeah so ok.. think i gtg off from blogging lax.. cant think of wad to say anymore..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

argh i'm so bored at home.. just finished watching tv.. korean drama.. damn sian now.. feel like going but think my mum will be angry.. i hate it when i cant do wad i really wanna do.. hate it when i cant lead my own life.. sigh.. anywae met terence just now.. yeaH.. think he now at grandma's place already.. miss him already.. think i going youth later.. listening to 'Yi Han'.. the SPice siblings song lax sung by Tay Ping Hui.. haha.. now my and ferli crazy over that song le.. she ar.. oways get me high.. never fail to make me luff with her 'fatty boom boom' and 'saturated fatty pig'.. anywae uh yah.. make this short la.. take carez..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

oh yes! no CCA tml!! i am so happy.. in such high spirits now.. i really have no idea how or why in the world i decided to join CO.. i'm so deprived of my fav ball game.. which is basically vball lax duh.. my sis and mum are like so against me joining vball.. i so desparately wan to quit CO and join vball.. sigh.. i knoe it's going to be real tiring and stuff for me but it's interest you knoe..? it's something that pushes me to do well.. to prove that i can do well even thou vball is a sport that takes up alot of time to train and all.. i really need that kind of motivation to keep me going to attend lessons in sch.. ok i think i shld just stop blogging today.. this is the third entry.. ok lax.. i'll try to curb the temptation.. haha.. good nite all..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

yeaH ok.. finished dinner.. washed the dishes brought in the clothes.. folded the clothes finally can sit here and tok crap.. haha.. ok had fun swimming with ferli just now.. yeah hmm.. after that i went to wait for terence.. cos he was playing bball at the park there.. chatted and stuff.. i was just thinking bout love just now.. the pple revolving arnd us.. and i tot of a few.. why they acted like this.. said this or that.. and i came to one conclusion.. it's going to be really hard to really let go of a rel while you're still in contact with your ex.. well this comes from experience.. like from eg when you guys are still in sch.. you'll get to see each other pretty often.. and prob one msgs the other and things get going again.. it was like that for me when i was in sec3.. yeaH you'll keep thinking of the person.. misses him when he doesnt msg you or reply to your msgs.. and wonder if he's thinking bout you too.. someday somehow you'll think to yourself whether you're still in love with that person.. yeah and it gets worse when you tell each other probs and stuff like that.. diff to even think of letting go.. i believe it's only when one really is determined to not msg that person.. to not think of him.. or her.. den can one really forget one person and let go of the relationship.. easier said than done.. but if you're not determined.. of cos you wont be able to do it.. i was just thinking of smth that happened to me the other day.. when i saw smth in a phone.. i got kinda upset and everything.. but i managed to hold baq my tears lax.. i mean.. one must have a conscience.. no matter how badly you're trying to get baq with someone.. you shldnt cause that guy(or Gal) and his or her partner to fall out rite..? besides he or she already has a partner.. well.. there are pple arnd doing just that.. and it totally totally totally disgusts me to the extreme.. but still.. i wouldnt wan to have another enemy would i? dont you preach wad you read from the bible? when i try to make peace i get a lecture saying i was trying to cause trouble.. where the hell do i stand at that..? sigh forget it.. i dun wanna tok anymore.. i'm in quite a good mood actually..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

hmm ok.. today no sch.. tml got CCA.. sunday got church.. monday no sch.. yeah ok.. sounds like fun.. haha.. argh getting real bored at home already.. lucky later going for a swim.. in the middle of the afternoon where the sun is scorching hot.. i'll prob just get a tan later.. cos ferli's bringing tanning oil.. eek.. i hate oil on my body.. i think i already have enough fats.. haha.. i'll prob just let her tan herself.. haha.. i've been getting darker since i started sch.. cos PE oways very hot.. early in the morning.. plus went down to Pulau Ubin twice during the hols.. was like a Malay.. haha.. hmm din exactly get a good nite's rest.. was tossing and turning in bed.. slept at arnd 2+ even thou i went offline at about 12.50.. i'm so excited now.. got this funny feeling inside me.. excited that i will be seeing terence in bout an hour more.. after his lesson.. hmm.. yeah ok.. frenster's kinda down for maintenance.. dunno wad funny things they will have this time.. anyway.. i'm eyeing this brush and glow from red earth.. 20 bucks.. but if ferli gets the brozing tan lotion thingy den i can get my stuff for 10bucks.. good buy.. i mean.. HELLO.. it's half price.. haha.. ok and i saw this moonflower eau de toilete at body shop the other day.. somehow become my fav scent already.. yeah ok.. waiting for my aunt to come baq.. very long never see her already.. and my cousin too.. been like a yr plus since i've gone to japan..? yeah.. kinda miss the tatami room.. and the tennis court.. and the spring bath.. and the toilet.. and the bathroom.. ok i'm getting nowhere.. was looking at some blogskins just now.. dl-ed one skin.. kinda nice.. black and bluey.. yupz.. feel like going running soon.. cos i prob wont be able to get to run when PE starts cos those who got a Silver award for Napfa can play games.. this term they'll concentrate on those who din get that silver.. but.. no chance.. esp when sch starts.. sighz.. was playing the piano and guitar this morning.. i still sounded pretty ok.. yah and my small sis was singing alon with me.. you knoe those songs that my church sings lax.. those hillsong ones.. yeap.. anywae think i'll try to upload a photo into my post some day.. it's kinda boring to just read words and see no pics dont you think..? yeah so ok.. gtg lax..got to help my mum search for some stuffs on the net.. ok.. byez..

Le cHeRi, VeNiR cE qUe PeUt, Je VoUs AiMeRaI, jUsQu' ? mOn JoUr MoUrAnT.

yeah ok my chinese paper's over.. it was ok lax.. except for the han yu pin yin part.. cos i pracically din study at all.. my compo was ok.. managed to write lots of stuff and had 5 mins left to slack arnd the seat.. haha.. hmm den went to Ntuc after that to get Oats for my dad.. i cant believed i just went there last fri to get him one pack and now he has finished them already.. he's the only one eating it lor.. i ised to eat oats with him last time.. but i kinda got sick of it.. yeah so bought 4 packs today.. heavy like siao.. tt was 2 kg ok.. haha.. but my bag was light lax.. cos i left all my chinese stuff like dict and reference book in my locker.. so it was pretty ok for me.. went to Montip to get some stuffs also.. yeaH.. glad that i can really slack now without having to worry bout my mum nagging at me cos my exams are officially over.. but for the rest who still have the lit paper tml.. dun be discouraged that the rest can go play lax kz.. just think that it's just another hour more of writing anf writing and writing.. haha.. anywae i got my HP bill already.. not alot.. just 38++.. still can make it lax.. last month's was like whoa.. dunno wad i did with my phone sia.. anywae.. i miss my baby.. so long since i met him.. and i have to wait till tml.. feeling lovesick already.. haha.. hmm ok got news that my aunt and cousin coming baq to Singapore from Japan.. on the 25th of july.. tt's like 10 days after my fav day.. haha.. so my dad is like damn eager to get my new house ready and all that.. shifting in prob a few months' time.. like after my promo exams lax.. ok so everyone who knows my cousin is coming baq asks me the same qn.. whether he's handsome or not.. and my ans is a direct NO.. haha.. why do pple think that Jap guys are cute and handsome and everything..? those only appear on tv.. in actual fact they're kinda like Singaporeans.. you dont see handsome male singaporeans everywhere you go do you..? same logic yeah? ok good.. ok having my A level chinese oral exam soon.. on the 13th of july.. sick of chinese man.. haha.. ok so.. i'm going to enjoy my short hol of 4 days.. haha.. have to crack my brains to think of wad to do and where to go already.. haha.. see you pple arnd.. taz.